Taking Power Out of Gossip

In Magic, our word is our power. Misusing our words by lying, or not keeping our promises chips away at our own magical effectiveness.  But another insidious way that we lose our power is by abusing our words through participating in gossip.

We have all witnessed plenty of gossip and slander in our lives (and I'm sure we have all participated in it to some extent or another as well). I used to care rather obsessively about what people thought of and said about me. As my name and my work got more exposed to the greater community however, I had to finally come to the realization that gossip was just part of the package. These days, I care less what people say about me.

No matter how we slice it, it hurts to hear mean things being said about us, especially when they aren't true. The people who know us, are usually aware of what is true; and those who don't know us, have the choice to be adult enough to make up their own minds when they hear rumors. If they are so childish as to believe every bit of gossip that comes their way, are they people we really want to spend any time with anyway? We don't have power over what people say about us, nor do we have power over what people think of us.

We do, however, have power over our own actions and words. We have power to realize that gossip is very addictive; we also have the power to put our foot down and avoid participating in gossip and slander ourselves (and that includes speaking up about it when it is being spoken in our presence). We have the power to keep our own sides of the street as clean as possible. We have the power to know our own minds and our own beliefs, and to avoid indulging in obsession over others' words about us or our characters.

It is a natural reaction to want to defend ourselves against gossip, but what does that do other than keep it alive? It's best to allow ourselves the moment in time to find forgiveness and understanding for the perpetrators, and realize that happy people don't gossip. Miserable people do. Ultimately gossip doesn't speak about the victim of the gossip, but about the perpetrator.

Sometimes the truth hurts. If we ever find out that someone says something awful about us behind our backs, we might try first asking ourselves if there is any truth to the rumor. If so, it can be a painful, but excellent opportunity to upgrade our own lives by starting to change the things that were being spoken of.

If, however, there was no actual truth to the trash talk, we must try to remember that the gossip doesn't have anything to do with us, and has absolutely no power to harm us. Trying to stop others from gossiping about us is a losing battle. If we can let it go and let our lives be the examples of the truth of who we are, then we are in the driver's seat. We can remain poised, serene and powerful in the face of gossip, if we recognize it for what it is and for what it is not.